The Fear You Won't Fall
by Luthien6
Summary: [AlexAddison] Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall.
1. Chapter 1

**The Fear You Won't Fall**

Author's Notes: Okay, so this is my first attempt at a fanfiction in a long time, so please be gentle! Watching the recent interaction between Addison and Alex inspired me and I was just itching to write something about them! So I hope you like it. :) Comments and criticism are welcome.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters used in this fanfic.

Chapter 1

Alex Karev was a self-proclaimed womanizer, or as some liked to call him, an arrogant, commitment-o-phobic, womanizing bastard, although he preferred the former. Looking back, he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he was honoured with this title. Perhaps it was back in 9th grade when his first girlfriend, Stacey Miller, asked him to "go steady". Sure she was pretty, and funny, and had the most amazing laugh, but the idea of being tied down like that scared the hell out of him, being a teenage boy and all. His mom, however, begs to differ. She claims it was back in preschool when he apparently had a "posse of diapered three-year-old girls" follow him wherever he went.

Whatever the case, Alex Karev had never been with a girl for more than one month before breaking it off, or screwing up their relationship in one way or another. Not to mention, he was proud to admit that he had never become emotionally attached to a woman. He stayed at a healthy distance throughout the relationship so that, come time to break it off, he could do it carefree. That way, he would never be one of those pathetic, lovesick men, following around their women like dogs. Until now, that is.

- - - - -

Alex's eyes flickered open as he saw the bright rays of sun pouring through his window, a rare occurrence in rainy Seattle. He groaned and immediately dismissed the idea of waking up, turning over in his bed to catch a few more hours of sleep.

Beside him, he heard the sheets rustle. His eyes popped open, only to face a smiling blond.

"Morning," she drawled lazily, stretching out her arms.

"Uh, yeah, morning to you too," he replied, last night coming back to him. He had been sitting at the counter at Joe's, nursing a beer, when this woman slinked up to him, took a sip of his beer, and then when he protested, she said, "Well, I wouldn't have to take a sip a' yours if I had my own now, would I?" And so, after buying her a drink, they spent the rest of the night immersed in conversation, and then ended up at his apartment, as per usual with the women he meets at Joe's.

Alex rolled over to check the time, praying to whatever Gods existed that he had not slept in. 7:56. Shit, he thought to himself. He had to be at work in four minutes. He threw aside the covers and jumped out of bed. That was when he noticed a trail of clothing leading all the way down the hall. He picked up the lacy camisole on the floor in front of him and tossed it at the girl.

"Listen, uh," he started, "sorry to cut this short, but I'm late for work. I'm going to jump in the shower, so you can just slip out while I'm in there."

The girl's smile slipped away and was replaced by an expression of recognition: recognition that Alex was no different than ninety percent of the male population. He was just in it for some quick fun and nothing more. He was used to that look by now, after having received it from nearly every one-night stand.

"So should I expect to hear from you, or…" the girl trailed off, a hint of attitude in her voice.

"Don't count on it," he called back, shutting the bathroom door.

- - - - -

Alex glanced at his watch as he rushed into the locker room. 8:23. Not bad, he thought to himself. Though he knew he shouldn't expect a warm greeting from Bailey this morning. She was already up his ass about, well, everything. She seemed to always have something against him.

Coming out of the locker room, he slammed right into Addison.

"Oomph!" he exclaimed, as they collided, knocking her glasses askew. "I'm so sorry, Addison … uh, Dr. Montgomery … ma'am," he finished meekly. If truth be told, he was a little bit intimidated by Dr. Montgomery. She held the position of authority and she liked to remind him of that fact. Not that he didn't respect her – she was extremely talented and, unlike other attendings with silvery hair and a constant need for cappuccinos, she treated him like he deserved to be there. He picked up her glasses off the floor and brushed them off on his scrubs before passing them back.

She folded up her glasses and placed them in her coat pocket. "That's fine, Alex," she said with a small smile, "What is not fine, however, is your tardiness. You're assigned to me for the day and I needed you here half and hour ago."

"Yes, sorry, Dr. Montgomery, I can explain."

"What? Your car broke down? Your roommate played a joke on you and reset your alarm clock? Your dog ate your homework?" she said with a smirk, shuffling through papers.

"Something like that," he mumbled, not caring to go into details. "So uh, what am I doing today?"

"Well, seeing as we're now behind for the day, I'll need you to get caught up on some labs," she said as she passed him a stack of binders, "and if you're finished by, oh, two, or so, you can scrub in on a surgery."

"Two?" he asked, his eyebrows raised, "I can get these done before lunch, no problem."

"Oh, those you should be able to get done by eleven at the latest," Addison retorted as she walked away. "There's another cart behind the nurses station," she called back over her shoulder.

Alex let out a groan, but he knew very well he'd rather be doing this than spending half the morning at the coffee cart, trying to fetch Mark Sloan the right type of cappuccino.

- - - - -

Addison stripped off her gloves and headed to the sink after another successful surgery. A young woman eight and a half months pregnant had come in this morning from a serious car accident with a shard of metal piercing her uterus. By some miracle, the baby was unharmed, although slightly premature.

It's too bad, she thought to herself. Karev would have killed to get in on this surgery. She wondered how he was doing with the labs and hoped she hadn't been too harsh on him. Despite his flaws, she thought he had talent. He was just a bit rough around the edges.

After her hands were thoroughly washed, she headed outside to grab a chai tea latte from the coffee cart during her spare fifteen minutes. She's recently tried one on a whim from Starbucks and was addicted.

On her way outside, she passed a certain attending charming the nurses with his good looks and wit. She rolled her eyes and continued on her way, hoping he didn't notice her pass.

"Hey, Addie, wait up!" he called, abandoning four swooning nurses.

She cringed and stopped in her tracks. "What is it, Mark?"

"I was hoping we could talk," he said.

"Okay, so talk."

"Not here," he replied, "I was hoping maybe we could talk over some coffee. Or dinner, perhaps?"

"Mark," she sighed, "I think I know where this is going, and the answer is no."

He pulled her into a corner to avoid attention. "Why not, Addie? We were good together! We had a real connection and you know it. Stop trying to deny what you know is right!"

"Had, Mark, we had a good connection," she stressed, "But now? Things are just too complicated. We've been through too much."

"We can get through them together," he said, trying to take her hands, but stepped back when she batted him away. "Why else would you call me out here except for the reason that you want me back?"

"It was a stupid, spontaneous call, Mark," she retorted, "I was lonely, and upset, and half drunk."

"And I've spent the last sixth months waiting patiently for you to realize that your husband does not want you back. And now that that reality has finally set in, why not come back with me? We could go back to New York together, start a family. Think about it, Addison."

"No, Mark, there isn't even a remote possibility of that happening! I don't want to be with you and I definitely don't want to start a family with you, if you didn't get that hint already from…from what happened," she trailed off weakly, cringing at the memory she brought up. "So let go of whatever hope you're holding onto, because it is never going to happen."

Addison turned on her heal and walked away, forgetting where she was originally headed and not particularly caring. She just wanted to find an empty room because she could already feel the tears prickling behind her eyes.

- - - - -

New chapter coming soon!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Thanks for reading and reviewing, guys. I really appreciate it. :) For those of you who are wondering – yes, it will be an Addison/Alex fanfiction, however, it might take a few chapters to get there. I don't want to have them hook up too soon because half the fun of it all is the sexual tension. ;) Just bear with me. Also, sorry if there are any spelling mistakes. I checked over it a few times, but I don't have a beta, so something could have slipped by my eyes.

Chapter 2

Once Addison felt drained of tears, she leaned back and rested her head against the wall of the empty on-call room, trying to steady her breathing. She hated the person that she had become. All of a sudden she had gone from one of the hottest and most successful doctors on the east coast, married to the Brad Pitt of medicine, to a depressed divorcee and dirty adulteress.

The past year had been a whirlwind of events, one after another. From trying to win back Derek, to Mark arriving and screwing things up, to finding Meredith's panties in Derek's pockets, to finally ending an eleven-year long marriage, to "celebrating" the one year anniversary of the abortion of her and Mark's baby. It had been building up all year, and it was almost inevitable that she would hit her breaking point eventually.

For a while, she had it all under control. When she caught Derek looking wistfully at Meredith, she would look the other way and pretend it wasn't happening. When Derek quickly rolled over to the other side of the bed after they had sex, she would pretend they were still in medical school again, and he would hold her tight in his sleep, his head buried in her neck. When Mark flew across the country after her drunken call, she pushed all of her former feelings for him away and tried to convince herself that maybe, just maybe, things might work out with Derek.

She wished so much that she had someone to blame for all this. She could so easily hate Meredith for causing her all this pain, but she'd tried and it hadn't worked. As much as she wanted to hate Meredith for stealing her husband from her, she knew that would not be fair. She was simply a girl who had unknowingly slept with a married man and fallen for him. Really, when she thought about it, the only person she could blame was herself. And that made it hurt just so much more. If she hadn't been stupid enough to have an affair with Mark, things would be different. She and Derek would still be the It couple and the envy of all their New York colleagues.

It's funny how much can happen to a person in a year.

Addison wiped the tears away from under her eyes and dotted at the mascara streaks on her cheeks with a wet Kleenex. After quickly touching up her make-up, she smoothed out her favourite Marc Jacobs skirt, took a breath to calm herself, and headed back out to the hospital to perform her two o'clock surgery.

- - - - -

Alex slammed shut the last of the labs and pushed back his sleeve to check the time. 1:49. He leaned back in his chair and stretched out his arms. His back was aching from sitting hunched over his work all day. It had been a brutal amount of work, but at least he was done in time to get in on Dr. Montgomery's surgery.

Addison came around the corner and saw Alex stretching in his chair. She forced a smile and said, "Alex, good, you're done. Get ready to scrub in on Mrs. Anthony's C-section in ten minutes."

Addison wouldn't call himself a particularly observant guy, but he sensed something was wrong with Addison. Her face appeared flushed and it looked like it took every bit of willpower to keep that smile from sliding off her face.

Alex nodded, hesitated, and then said cautiously, "Hey, Addison? Is everything okay with you?"

Addison mentally kicked herself for being so transparent. She thought she had done a fairly good job of covering her mood up. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just stress and lack of sleep – I'm sure you know how it is." She rolled her eyes jokingly.

"Are you sure that's all it is? You look like," Alex paused momentarily, unsure of whether to continue.

Addison raised an eyebrow.

"You look like you've been crying," he finished. He looked down to avoid making eye contact with her.

He was surprised to find himself genuinely concerned about Addison's state. He knew that she'd experienced a lot in the past year, and he wouldn't blame her for being upset.

From what gossip he had heard, Addison had cheated on Derek with Mark back in New York, and after trying to make things work with him here in Seattle for the past year, they'd finally called their marriage a dud. Having also been an unfaithful guy in the past, he felt an obligation to side with Addison. Not to mention, he thought Derek was a pompous ass. Which he knew he himself had been called quite a few times in his lifetime, but at least he didn't treat women he cared about like crap – just the ones he picked up in bars. The excuse sounded better in his head, really.

When she didn't respond he continued, "Listen, I know I'm not the trustworthy type, but if you need to talk or anything…"

Addison's mouth fell slightly open and she gaped at him for a split second. But she quickly averted her eyes and said, "I assure you, Karev, I'm fine. But, um, thanks for the concern."

"If you want my two cents, Mark and Derek aren't worth it." He offered Addison a half smile and then turned around to replace the labs on the nurse's cart. Behind him, Addison was staring at his back with a combined look of shock and gratitude.

- - - - -

"Mrs. Davis," Addison said, looking up from her chart, "Hi, I'm Addison Montgomery, and I'll be performing your C-section this afternoon." She extended her right arm towards the mother-to-be, who was sitting up in the hospital bed.

The frail woman, who barely looked as if she could support her bulging belly without toppling over, cracked into a lopsided smile. "Actually, its just Ms. Cooper now. Yep, just little Ms. Cooper," she repeated herself, "Would still be Mrs. Davies if that bastard of a husband didn't run off to Cuba with that little whore from down the street."

Alex shifted uncomfortably at Addison's side. He hated it when patients went into too much detail about their personal lives. They were doctors, for Christ's sake, not their psychiatrists.

Addison cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry, Ms. Cooper."

"Not your fault," Ms. Cooper let out a small laugh, "I mean, what kind of man, what kind of human being with any sense of decency whatsoever, leaves a pregnant woman with six children to look after!"

"Six?" Alex yelped in surprise.

Addison tried to butt in, "Do you have any questions about the procedure, Ms. Cooper?"

"And another on the way," the woman said, ignoring Addison's question. She chuckled, even though everyone in the room was well aware that there was nothing humorous about the situation, "That cheating son of a bitch won't even send child support."

Alex let out a breath. "Well, it's good thing your birth control seemed to work," he said sarcastically.

Before the woman could respond, Addison took Alex lightly by the arm. "Karev, could I speak with you outside? Sorry Ms. Cooper, we'll only be a minute," Addison apologized to the patient.

Once they were out of hearing distance from the patient, Addison turned on Karev and glared at him. "What the _hell_ was that about?"

He shrugged, "It was just a joke."

"Karev, I want to make it very clear to you that we are her doctors. It is not our place to tell her how she should run her life. How many children she chooses to have is her business, not ours," Addison lectured.

"I agree. But it doesn't even seem like she can support her children. Doesn't that seem a little bit irresponsible? Hasn't she ever heard of condoms?"

"Once again, Alex, that is her decision, not ours."

"She doesn't even seem to realize it! She has six, now seven, lives in her hands and she just keeps popping them out like she has all the income in the world to look after them! After her husband left her, she could have easily aborted the one she's about to have! She could've saved it a life of welfare and hunger!"

Addison's face turned from stern to cold. "Karev, go and help out in the pit. I will not be needing you on this surgery."

"What?" Alex exclaimed, throwing up his hands "You can't just take me off the case!"

"I can, and did. Go find something to do." She went back into the patient's room and shut the door behind her without looking back.

- - - - -

Four hours and about fifteen stitched body parts later, Alex loitered around the nurse's station in the pit, flirting with a good-looking blonde. It had slowed down around five o'clock and he hadn't had a patient in about twenty minutes.

He was about to ask the nurse if she wanted to go out for a drink at Joe's after her shift, when she suddenly jumped out of her chair and ran around to the other side of the counter. He turned around to see where she was going, and saw her heading for a young, about six months pregnant female, who had just collapsed on the floor. As he approached her unconscious form, he saw that she had bad bruises all over her face and right arm, and probably other places on her body that were not visible.

Alex kicked into surgeon mode. "Page Dr. Montgomery and bring me a stretcher!" he yelled out to whoever was listening.

He whipped his flashlight out of his chest pocket and shone it in each of her eyes to check for responsiveness. Her pupils dilated accordingly. Her pulse was steady and her breathing was normal; however, upon a quick physical examination, he noticed older bruises all over the body, signs of internal bleeding, and a displaced shoulder.

Just then Addison rushed over to Alex's side. "What happened?" she asked breathlessly.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Although I'm going into medicine, I'm not in med school yet, so I can't claim to know everything. I tried my best to make sure all the medical aspects were correct, but I could be wrong. Other than that, I hope you enjoy the chapter! Also, feel free to tell me what you like & didn't like. I'm open to criticism. :)

- - - - -

Chapter Three

Just then Addison rushed over to Alex's side. "What happened?" she asked breathlessly.

Alex looked up at Addison, whose cheeks were flushed from running down two flights of stairs. Alex momentarily held in his breath. Her brilliant coloured hair was splashed over her shoulders and framed her porcelain face perfectly. How could someone so beautiful be so damaged, he wondered.

He responded, "We're not sure. She just wandered in here about three minutes ago. I did a quick examination and she's responsive, although not conscious. Her breathing and pulse are steady, however she is badly bruised, has internal bleeding around the abdomen, and a dislocated shoulder."

"No history, Brooke?" Addison asked the attractive blonde with whom Alex had been flirting a few minutes ago.

"Nothing at all. She just walked in here and collapsed," she tried to catch Alex's eye, however his gaze was completely focused on Addison.

The redhead crouched down beside Alex and leaned over the unconscious form. "Hm, this looks like…" Addison trailed off, looking at the woman sympathetically. She brushed the woman's hair off her forehead and traced her bruised cheek. "Poor thing," she murmured.

"Yeah, I know," responded Alex as he shook his head. This image was painfully familiar for him and brought up memories he had worked so hard to squash.

"Okay, let's get her up to the third floor. She looks like she's going to need surgery for the internal bleeding and possible damage to her kidneys."

Alex and Addison along with a team of nurses lifted the woman carefully onto a stretcher. The nurses left to deal with a sobbing three-year-old boy who had walked into his family's coffee table and received a nasty gash on his forehead while Alex and Addison began to wheel the woman toward the elevator.

As they rode the elevator to the third floor, they both had time to remember their previous fight. Alex kept on looking in her direction, attempting to catch her eye, and Addison tried to avoid eye contact because one look from him and she usually melted and gave in. Just as the silence was beginning to grow awkward, Alex cleared his throat.

"Listen, uh, I'm sorry about earlier. You know, what I said to that patient."

Addison whipped her head around, a surprised smile on her lips, "I didn't think you had it in you, Karev."

"Hey, don't expect that from me often," he joked, "I don't do that kind of thing all the time."

"You only do it for me, right?" she teased him with a smirk. So what if he was her intern. She was still allowed to flirt, right?

"Mmphh."

The two doctors looked down toward their patient, whose eyes were fluttering open. When she noticed her surroundings, she tried to sit up quickly, but Alex urged her to lie down.

"Wh-where am I?" the confused woman asked.

"I'm Dr. Karev and this is Dr. Montgomery. You walked into this hospital about five minutes ago. Do you remember that?"

She crinkled her forehead for a minute and then it dawned on her. "Yes, yes I do remember," she said. She didn't say anything for a few seconds and appeared to be thinking. "But actually, I don't need to be here, I'm fine."

She tried to get up and step off the stretcher, but Addison pushed her gently back down. "No, hun, you really need to stay. You're badly bruised and have severe internal bleeding. We need to take a look at you before you can go. Do you remember what happened to you?"

Alex noticed that a look of panic appeared to flash on her face for a minute, but then it was gone. "Oh, it was silly, really. My husband was at work and I was trying to move around some furniture from our living room to our basement, since we ordered a new leather couch set. So I was trying to bring the old recliner downstairs, and I slipped and it fell on me."

"That doesn't sound silly to me," Addison replied, "It looks like it did a pretty good job of falling on you."

They reached the third floor and exited the elevator. Addison called over her shoulder to a nurse working at the desk, "Hey Shelley, could you please book an OR for me?"

They brought the patient into an empty room and closed the door behind them. Addison flipped open her chart to a blank page and looked up at the woman over her glasses. "Okay, so we just need to get your information to start off. You know, name, age, and address."

"Claire Burton. That's C-L-A-I-R-E. I'm 29 and I live at 3498 Kingston Road, Seattle, Washington, 30078."

"Any health concerns we should know about? Do you have any respiratory diseases, allergies, or anything like that?"

"I'm allergic to strawberries, but I don't think that's important."

Addison smiled back, "Not really, unless the dessert tonight is fruit salad. What about family history?"

"Well, my mom and dad both have asthma and my uncle is diabetic."

"Okay, great. Alex, is she all hooked up?" Addison asked.

Alex looked up from the wires and replied, "Yep, almost."

"Okay," Addison started, "Would you mind lifting up your shirt for me a little? I just need to take a look for internal bleeding."

The woman looked as if she didn't want to, but lifted up the hem of her shirt for Addison to take a look. Addison noted some faded yellow bruises near the woman's sides. What kind of _sick_ man hits his pregant wife, she thought to herself. When she pressed her hands along her abdomen to check for hardness under the skin, she noticed some definite lumps.

"Well, unfortunately you have signs of some internal bleeding, which means we're going to need to get you into an OR." Addison said.

"What about my baby?" the woman whimpered, instinctively moving her hand down to touch her belly.

"I was just about to take a look," she replied. Addison snapped on some gloves and rubbed the jelly on Claire's stomach, "Sorry if that's cold," she smiled.

"No, that's okay."

Addison moved the monitor over Claire's protruding stomach to find a heartbeat. She saw the shape of the baby on the screen, but couldn't find a strong heartbeat. After a couple more tries, she quickly realized that the internal bleeding must be around her uterus and that the baby must not be getting blood.

She stood up hurriedly, "Alex prep her fur surgery now!"

"What's wrong?" the patient asked, panic spreading across her tanned face.

"Your baby isn't getting enough blood because of the internal bleeding. I'm going to need to do a C-section," Addison replied, "Alex, I need her ready in about two minutes."

Addison left the room at a jog, leaving just Claire and Alex.

She began to breathe rapidly and her eyes welled up with tears.

"Hey, hey," Alex said in a soothing voice, "It's okay. Addison is the best surgeon there is! You have nothing to worry about."

"I…don't…want…it…. to come out!" she wailed between breaths.

"Wha-?" Alex started, before realization dawned on him. "Claire, there was no chair, was there?"

Claire shook her head slowly, still sobbing. "Please, please don't let it come out! Just…just keep it in there!"

Alex pulled up a chair beside her, "It's going to have to come out," he said sympathetically, "But you can do this. You have to. Is it _his_ baby?"

She nodded, wiping off the tears still streaming down her cheeks. "How did I let this happen?" she cried, "I was so stupid!"

Outside the door, Addison leaned against the wall, listening to their conversation.

"This baby is in your body. You have been growing it and feeding it for the past eight months. It has your blood flowing through its veins. This baby is going to be yours, and yours only, okay?" Alex exclaimed assertively.

"I don't think I can do this!" she let out.

Alex gripped her hand, "Do not let that bastard ruin your life, you hear me? You are so much better than that and you are strong enough to raise that baby. Everything will be okay."

Addison's mouth dropped a little at the things she was hearing. She had never known Alex to ever take an interest in a patient. He never even bothered to remember their names. And yet, here he was treating this patient like she was his sister.

She turned the corner and entered the room, seeing Alex sitting at her bedside. "Okay, the OR's ready. Let's get you in there, Claire."

- - - - -


End file.
